In 2016, based on statistics, one Filipino died every minute.
Death is inevitable and at some point in your life, you’ll be invited or compelled to attend a funeral of a loved one, relative or a friend.
But what is the proper etiquette for funeral service in the Philippine context? This article will help you in behaving well so that you don’t show disrespect at the event.
For starters, wear white or black clothes. Avoid flashy and loud colors as this can mean you’re not mourning with the bereaved.
If you’re attending a Chinese-Filipino funeral, wearing white is expected.
Learn more about what to wear for a funeral service in the Philippines here.
You will note that those who have a black pin on their clothes are those that are family members of the one who just died. Look for them immediately upon arrival to share your condolences and messages. It’s also totally acceptable to ask how the person died. The family might even share some tidbits of you if you were an important person in the life of the one who just died. If they have a registration book, make sure you place your details there.
It is also important not to show other emotions outside of sadness when you are in the wake. Don’t go making jokes and being boisterous because it’s a solemn event.
The casket is generally open so it’s normal to touch the body of the deceased briefly.
It’s respectful to eat quietly what is offered by the bereaved family. Take small portions and don’t treat it like a buffet. Remember there will be other visitors coming in during the period of the wake.
If you’d like to give monetary assistance or abuloy, the family would be appreciative of it. You may give your heart’s generosity. This article can help you in terms of how much abuloy to give. It’s also alright to give assistance in non-monetary ways, e.g. mass offerings, flowers, tokens.
In case you can’t make it to the wake, you can send in your monetary assistance and/or flowers to let them know that you’re thinking of them and sharing in their sadness despite your lack of physical presence in the wake.
Flowers are important because they signify life and gives reverence to the one who just died.
Sometimes, certain provinces might have some strong superstitions that you might want to follow in order to show respect to the family. These include avoiding combing your hair during the wake and avoiding your tears from falling to the casket. Some communities also believe that sweeping during the wake can bring bad luck. So ask ahead if you’re unsure to avoid disrespecting the family. In the Benguet area, the deceased is blindfolded and instead of lying done, they sit down with their hands and feet tied to make sure their spirit does not roam around.
If the family is Catholic, you can expect a 24-hour vigil to happen at the home of the deceased. The mourners are also expected to walk behind the coffin. It’s critical to respect their beliefs.
All in all, the tips provided above are all about showing respect and not upsetting the mourning family of the deceased. Death of a loved one is possibly the most painful experience one can have and it’s important to alleviate this pain even just a little with the proper funeral etiquette.
You might want to read more about the Unique Beliefs During Burial and Funeral Service in the Philippines here.
Photos: Unsplash
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